February update: Bullet journaling, creating art and our 10 year anniversary!
February has been a strange month. It’s been both difficult and productive; fun and sad; ups and downs but overall progress.
I started my own bullet journal for the first time. I’m using it to track a few things and also as a bit of a diary. I keep most of my daily to-dos being on a post it note I write up daily and carry around. That seems to be working so far. My bullet journal is helping me monitor and track a few things as well as getting me back into creating art.
I’m not doing any classic ‘spreads’ per se but I’m creating a picture for the cover of each month and the odd piece of art just for decoration. You can see a few examples of my bullet journal art on my Instagram (and a sneak peak below:).
Writing has been going well and I’ve been writing lots already this year! Last year I kept a tally of how much I was writing and I really did manage to write a lot! But I also got quite tired and burnt out towards the end of the year. So I figured out my total wordcount for last year and divided it by so many working weeks/days I planned to do this year and came up with a much lower “words per day” goal. I’m keeping track of all of this in my bullet journal. My hope is that I’ll write more consistently and feel less burnt out if I do it like this.
If you’d be interested to see my little system let me know.
So far it’s working well. As long as I hit my minimum I’m happy. I’ve often written way more, but this gives me wiggle room for good days and bad days. It means I can keep writing if I’m in the zone but also it makes me a little more aware of how long I’ve been writing for so that I can stop at that minimum and do all the other things I need to do in a day (e.g. housework, feed the kids –Ember andBandit -or myself, go to the gym, cook etc.). This system came in handy during my Covid booster as I realised I’d already written far and above my minimum goal so I could take a week off to recover. As for the jab itself…
Covid booster jab
I had my Covid booster jab this month. It wasn’t particularly fun. So far both my vaccines and my booster have had basically the exact same effects: cold/flue feeling at the beginning, dizzy, not really wanting to eat, followed by wanting to eat simple things like carbs and feeling absolutely exhausted! It’s not been fun but considering how bad some people have felt after or how bad getting Covid would be it’s not the worst, it’s just a pain really.
However it really hasn’t coincided with a time in which I’m feeling that great mentally and so sickness combined with feeling frustrated and tired = meltdown. And ooof! What a meltdown! (I felt sorry for Ben afterwards as he had to see and deal with that but I’m also still recovering from it myself.) So yeah, not my best month. Fortunately that all came after…
Our 10 year anniversary
We’ve been together for ten years! Holy shit! We did manage to go out into town to celebrate a bit but what with the weather in Scotland this time of year it wasn’t the… how shall I put it?… warmest day out ever but it was still nice to go out, get some food and have a little celebration.
As I mentioned in the Covid jab section I’ve been struggling with my mental health. Some of this is long term stuff from abuse suffered when I was younger and some of it is related to health stuff that my doctors are apparently loathed to help me about.
I want to know, has anyone ever felt listened to by their doctors or am I just really unlucky?
Anyway, because of that I’m trying to learn to look after myself more whilst also building up the courage and resilience to have another talk with my doctors. I’m trying to prioritise my health (mental and physical) but it’s hard. I was feeling not great, especially after my meltdown, so I tried to draw and paint how I felt.
To describe the above picture I’d say I was trying to express the following:
I’ve always felt dragged down and dragged back to the past even thought I want nothing to do with it. I’ve been forced to keep contact with family members I really don’t want to, even if only in a very minimal way, and been gastlit by other members of my family. My health constantly reminds me of my shitty start in life and makes things worst, pulling me back, spiralling me back down.
I don’t want any of that.
I’ve been praised for being a survivor. But I want to be someone who gets to live life, not just surive.
I’m working on it.
I want to hope for more. I want more out of life.
I want to achieve my dreams. I’m reaching for them.
Anyway that’s just a bit of what’s going on in my head.
Plans for March?
I’m not too sure yet. More writing for certain but I’m also hoping to get some videos out so keep an eye out for those. March is also Ember’s birthday, our baby is growing up! We’ll get her something nice to eat 🙂 We’ll also be doing our best to follow the Orthodox fast (Ben’s Orthodox), so I’ll probably let you know how that goes. As for more, you’ll have to stick around to find out 🙂
Until next time, Best wishes to everyone,
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